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the prs office


So, here’s the short of it: tickets to All the Great Books (abridged) are collecting dust, and no one who’s seen our production can understand why. This show is of the same quality, caliber, humor and performance as our (abridged) productions of Shakespeare, America and Bible. Same cast & crew. Same venue. Same time of year. Same overwhelming responses from audience members… at least the ones who have seen it.

True, there are other productions that opened in January, but none of them are comparable to what we’re doing. It’s not like there are 16 hard hitting comedies playing in local theaters.

True, we’re also opening another show in January, This is How it Goes, which also deserves attention.

But, since this show has been so dependable, from a business standpoint, Jobsite depended on Books to do what all the other (abridged) shows have done for us: to financially support a bulk of our season. Books sells out, it advertises This is How it Goes, it sells our subscriptions, it exposes new and old people to Jobsite, it brings in the budget for the Mamet’s and Churchill’s and Gobioff & Paonessa’s – shows that need that budget. Sure, all our shows do that, but to a much lesser degree than an (abridged) show ever can.

My point is, this isn’t just another pitch to get you to come out to a Jobsite show. Well, it is, but it’s a pitch for help to get people to a show that’s really critical to Jobsite. This is something that has historically proven solid for us, and we quite judiciously banked on it, and people are suddenly not showing up for what is dollar for dollar probably one of the best and most entertaining ticket deals in the Bay.

People who have seen it are vocal. For example: see here, and here and here.

Please, if you have a minute, either e-mail or blog about the show to your Tampa peeps. My contacts/lj lurkers either don’t live in Tampa any more, or they do live here but are already hard-selling the show.

If you want, feel free to link back to this post. Or copy and paste it. It’s free copy. Take it. Spread it like herpes at Gasparilla. Whatever floats. Just please help get the word out.

uh frickin' christmas, derr... merry

You get paid how much? And you're that stupid?

Falcons' QB Michael Vick raises suspicion at Miami airport

This has so many different shades of stupidity and hubris, I don't even know where to begin. Of all the "vessels" to hide his weed in, he chose the most obviously prohibited container - a bottle of water. And he was carrying it. And it was somehow specially designed to hide the weed. So at some point, someone said, "hey, I know, let's make a James Bond weed hider - from a water bottle – and just make sure you're carrying it so security can see you when you're trying to get on the plane." You'd be better off with your weed in a bong duct taped to your face.

Here's another question. Why is one of America's most highly overpaid/overrated athletes taking AirTran from Miami to Atlanta? These are massive airports. There are plenty of options besides the former-SunAir, which changed names after one of their planes flew into Everglades like a dart. When you have a $130-million contract over 10 years, what the fuck are you doing with your money? You sure as fuck aren’t spending it on an airline that’s guaranteed to not make you feel like an annoying piece of human freight with no where to go soon before you lift off the tarmac.

Take a look at the history of certain football players, who 1) enjoyed large amounts of fame when they played, 2) were paid very well, and 3) eventually got busted for stupid behavior and probably are now broke from blowing their wad on hookers, drugs and legal fees. There are trends here, folks, and if Michael Vick is getting busted for being this stupid while flying AirTran, I promise this won’t be the last time we see Vick.

And the stupid gets stupider. No where did the police or security actually do anything. They recognized he's Michael Vick. That's like fucking diplomatic immunity in Miami. The have video of him throwing it away, after he pissed and moaned about getting rid of it. So, they called the NFL, which can test him, maybe before the preseason starts in August.

I'm walking away from my desk now.
the prs office

C'mon fight! Fight! Fight!

Prior to the 2000 election, I used to tell people that all I wanted was a two-party system. More often than not, they’d look at me and say, “But there’s the Republicans and the Democrats.”

And I would respond, “Exactly.”

Then the Great Uniter got elected, and George W. “Mr. Bipartisan” Bush led a team of… we’ll call them people, who generated a divide that rivaled the Marianas Trench. At first, it looked like the typical divide between the Grand Old Party and the Democrats. Then it was a divide between the GOP and “them” – specifically anyone who disagreed with them, publicly branded as unpatriotic on a good day to a motherfucking terrorist with a vial of nuclear anthrax wedged up their ass at a gay orgy on a bad day.

It was “my way or the highway,” as the guy who swore to bring everyone in government back together drove a wedge between the White House and every disagreeable government, then every agreeable government, then it’s own government, and through it all – the American people.

I predicted – and history backed me up – that this hubris, blatant strong-arming and division can’t endure more than six years without a backlash.

So, the Democrats got back into the game.

However, the Democrats didn’t win by virtue of uniting under one banner against the other team. They did, but not so much. They didn’t win so much as the other team lost.

While the president of the Evangelical whathaveyou was outed as a meth-addicted purveyor of male prostitutes, it was announced weeks before the election that W. (he’s the Great Uniter, by the way) used the Christian Right – his “base” – for their money and their vote and didn’t care what they wanted from the White House.

After the fallout, the Republicans turned on each other. John McCain, previously seen as the next natural Republican Presidential candidate, can’t get support from the staunch right wing of his own party, because he’s not a staunch right wing kinda guy, but he can’t get a grip on the general moderate of any party, because (among other things) he gives speeches to Christian fundamentalist right-wing groups.

But here’s where it turns weird.

Yesterday, the House Democrats broke with their incoming Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, and elected Rep. Steny H. Hoyer to be House majority leader. Hoyer got 63 more votes than Pelosi’s choice Murtha.

It gets better. Everyone, especially Pelosi and Murtha, thought it would be a real horse race. Pelosi was making the hard calls, and they were pledging their votes for Murtha. But, somewhere in the mix, about 60 Democrats lied to their new, vaunted Speaker. It was the first real political action the first female House leader made. And she tanked.

All week, Democrats have been pointing fingers at each other, like they lost the election (again). I won’t even get into who’s blaming who, but it’s a bunch of crap about who takes credit for winning, and who gets blamed for not winning enough. From the average American Joe’s perspective, this looks like high school locker drama bullshit. And to an extent it is. It’s the kind of behavior that makes you shake your head and silently whisper to yourself, “Can’t you fucking assholes get along and actually accomplish something, like balance the goddamn checkbook or something?”

However, I don’t see it that way. I want this division. I want this angst and disagreement, and I’ll tell you what turned the table for me:

According to today’s Slate:

[T]his whole conflict "sent a clear signal of what kind of leader [Pelosi] is: an old-style politician who puts a premium on personal loyalty, even at the risk of high-profile defeat."

James Moran of Virginia, didn't seem to get over his bitterness and said "there are a number of members who can't be trusted," as a reference to those who had pledged to elect Murtha but changed their vote. Apparently he didn't receive the reconciliation memo, because he went on to say those who voted against Murtha "will be damaged by this," reports the Washington Post.

Hrm. A premium on personal loyalty. A join us or perish philosophy. Obvious overtures of deception, backstabbing and division whose only pronounced solution is punishing “them”. Okay, sure it sounds like an episode of the Sopranos. But it also reminds me of the Republican party for the last six years, except the Republican party folded into this philosophy. They bought into the bullying, and the reward was six years of strong-arming their policies into effect.

And look what it got us:

War. Torture. An astronomical amount of financial debt. Warrantless spying. Prison with no trial. No accountability. No responsibility. No planning. No oversight. Ruthless neglect. And the conversion of the US Government into an even greater bureaucracy. This is the closest our government has ever come to the term “Orwellian.”

And this is from the party that wants to reduce government and spend less money. Imagine what a party like the Democrats would do if they had free reign and could bully everyone they wanted to for a change.

It’d be a disaster. And we’d have a one party system. Again.

But instead, there is open disagreement on both fronts. Hell, there’s more than two fronts. You could probably divide each Party into three factions. That’s six little groups of disagreeing bastards. The black and white is turning into shades of gray. And this, folks – this is how third parties get invented. When enough people, perhaps like Leiberman or McCain – set themselves apart and push away from both tables. And whether that third party forms a party, or just forms a coalition of issues, that’s historically when things get done. Things don’t happen in one party, because, when one group dominates, all they have to do is stay in power. They don’t have to actually accomplish anything. But when no one can dominate, then everyone has to perform.

Traditionally, third parties dissolve quickly in American history. But their causes, their issues, and their people carry on and alter the course of government. We’ve seen what six years of a single party government can accomplish. I hope the Democrats take the gloves off and start killing each other. And the Republicans should too – they got nothing to lose. Then, maybe, we’ll actually get a government of people that have to work for a living.
uh frickin' christmas, derr... merry


Ah... gray, stormy sky. Kinda cool out, if not a little ominous. Must be Election Day.

I made a down payment on my old-man membership and voted first thing this morning before work. I was rather encouraged: around 7:45 there were about 14 booths at my polling station, and I had to wait for one to open up. There were about 4 or 5 people behind me in line, too, so just a head's up if you're voting today - you might have to wait.

Just to get you warmed up into the grandest of political junkie holidays, here are few links.

You know things are getting heavy and heated, when you hear hecklers at a rally, and who better to heckle than George "I was a teenaged KKK wizard" Allen. I heard this last night on NPR and was laughing my balls off in traffic. Listen in the background around the 1:40 mark.

If you haven't voted yet, Creative Loafing and the St. Petersburg Times offer some pretty good crib notes on who you're voting for. Not saying vote for who they tell you to vote, but it's a good read. ESPECIALLY on those goddamn sneaky Amendments. For the Times article, scroll to the bottom.

For a completely unbiased (if a little confusing) view of all things Florida politics, check out VoteSmartFlorida.org.

And a little Simpsons for dessert. This includes a line that was edited from the Nov. 5 airing. I wish I'd watched the whole episode. Looks like it was a good one. But even if you didn't, there's enough here to see what they aired.

BTW - special thanks to everyone at tampa who provided the CL, Times, and VoteSmartFlorida links.

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY critus. I hope you get all the flaming homo-loving tax and spend cut and run liberal pussies elected that you wish for.
the prs office

the quick links

Okay kids, I only have about 5 minutes of fun left in fluorescent light land, but I think we've all earned our links this week, and some of these need to be checked out now, lest I miss any timely fun. So here it is, the quick links:



Yeah, I'm sick of the fucking elections too, but just in case you forgot why certain people were such a bunch of twunts:
A blueprint for Iraqi regime change... interesting, since it was drawn up before the Great Uniter even got elected President in the first place, let alone all that 9/11 stuff.
Fun with voting has already begun! Hoo-doggeys. Sadly, this is like the first in a 29 part series of various articles that I've come across, and I already lost hope in linking all of them after the first.
And to sweeten the deal, watch Stephen Colbert take a chunk out of Rush Limbaugh's arrogant ass. Hoo Lard!

Best Toys Ever
You have no idea how tempted I am to make one of these.
Now, I know what you're thinking: Halloween's over. But y'know, I just don't see why this should be strictly related to Halloween (make sure you watch the video). I say replace those ridiculous statues of little negro men holding lamps on your front lawn and make a birdbath out of this. Or better yet, get a bunch of Bush/Cheney shirts and line up about 2,000 of these along the sidewalk of whereever the President's limo drives. There's some fun protest action.

Fun with Media
A bunch of pictures. That's it. They're amusing.
STICKY BALLS! That would be my favorite worst video game title ever. Check out 49 others just like it!
And... drumroll please. 2/3's of the MST3K crew are back, and you can download their take to Star Wars Episode 1. Fuck yeah! It's finally worth watching!
the prs office

For those suffering apathy whiplash

Hey, look at that. I just got apathy whiplash – that moment when you’re at work and you spontaneously don’t give a fuck about anything you’re doing there.

So, it’s been awhile since I posted a crapload of links.

Buy your tickets now!

It really is as great as everyone says it is. We sold out opening weekend for a reason. Do yourself a favor and get your tickets now while you still have a say on what night you can get a ticket. Or don’t take my word for it: check out the bazillion comments and reviews on the Pillowman Media page.

Turning Japanese
Y’know, for a culture with a reputation for being the biggest workaholics of the world, these people sure have a lot of frickin’ free time. Watch them apply their ninja tactics to descending a flight of stairs (among other things) and holding a pen.

I must see this.

For all y’all independent artistic industry peeps out there – especially the Jobsite kids – you have to see how Terry Gilliam is raising money for his next film. This is great.

Media Tech
Since iTunes (one of my all-time favorite software apps) released 7.x, it’s been both very impressive and a major pain in my machine’s ass. It only agrees with my iPod about 10% of the time, and it’s a fucking memory pig, randomly jumping from 40Mb to 150Mb, not including the 3 startup side programs that are set to remain active from the moment you boot.

So, some indy’s got a program coming out called Songbird. It’s in dev-mode (pre-alpha?) but you can download it anyway, and it’s made me very curious. Despite that its logo is a fat farting bird, it’s got some groovy functionality that’s worth checking out. At the very least, check out this features video and this one too. And since it’s Firefox based, there will be extensions (like an iPod sync.) Someone want to give it a shot?

The Miscellaneous
Highly entertaining – the concert rider for Iggy Pop and the Stooges.

A great remedy for telemarketers.

A very cool little web toy that enables you to compare what you’re buying online to a relative visual reference. Even if you don’t use it, worth playing with it for a minute.

Sure, you were born in the year of the yak, but what other useless minutia don’t you know about the day you were born?

Dig the groovy illusion: Maggie Thatcher’s a cow no matter how you look at her. MAGIC!
the prs office

This Week on the Internets

It’s been a slow week on the internets. Or maybe I wasn’t wasting as much time on it. At any rate, here’s a bunch of links:

Who Needs Cable, when you have YouTube?
Too early for Steve Irwin jokes? Fuck that. Look, it’s Norm McDonald being funny. Honest.

Holy crap, I want one of these. Imagine attaching a small, remote video camera to it.

In the News – the news is fake. Lewis Black provides some investigative journalism on investigative journalism (and the lack thereof.) Highly recommended.

Here’s some three-year-old news that I just found out: George Bush’s brother, Marvin P. (yes, that’s really his name), was a head honcho for a security firm that, among other things, ran security for the World Trade Center until 9/11. I reckon the firm has since lost that account. Now, I’m really not drawing any conspiracy theories, because frankly, I don’t know of any security forces – especially our military – that can prevent Boeings from flying into buildings, but doesn’t that little tidbit strike you as a little weird? Is it just me? Seriously, what kind of a fucking coincidence is that?

I’m gonna whip somebody’s ass
After zefrank’s conversation with the light post, check out the remix of “I’m gonna whip somebody’s ass.
  • Current Music
    Ray - I'm Gonna Whip Somebody's Ass (remix)
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the prs office

Your (quasi) weekly list of fun crap on the Information Superhighway

Go ahead. Watch it. I dare ya.
Talk about creepy. Imagine, it’s 11:30 at night, all the lights are off, except for the warm fuzzy glow from the television – a nice quiet episode of Dr. Who. And then you see THIS!

Here’s a little supplemental from the next night’s CBS news to explain a little more of what that is.

Getcher rock on.

Hey, look at the douchebag!
Ever wonder how much respect a TV reporter has for the entire nation during a storm?

45 percent of those polled blame the Bush administration “either a ‘great deal’ or a ‘moderate amount,’ for the 9/11 attacks." Blame. I recommend you stock up on your popcorn now for the midterm elections.

This has to be the best practical joke ever. Evidently George Bush has to meet with President Nazarbayev of Kazakhstan to diplomatically smooth some wrinkles caused by a movie featuring Ali G creator/performer Sacha Baron Cohen. Apparently, the problem is the US has decided to not censor Baron Cohen’s movie based on his Kazakh-based character, Borat, and the Kazakhs are afraid that Borat will MAKE THE ENTIRE COUNTRY LOOK BAD. Back when Kazakhstan threatened to sue Cohen, “Borat” responded on a video saying, “I'd like to state I have no connection with Mr. Cohen and fully support my Government's decision to sue this Jew.” This is awesome. Bush has to have diplomatically talk about shit with people that are more fickle and mentally repressed than he is.

Cool Art Stuff
This is actually a cool effort. Someone used the Half-Life 2 video game engine to create a virtual tour of Frank Lloyd Wright's "Falling Water" structure.

Dig the groovy sculpture that you can’t see in Tampa because the art museum, or what’s left of it, sucks and never shows cool stuff like this.

Yes, you too now interact with your own high-tech duckpond simulator. Swear to God.

And finally…
Behold – Pjotro!